Losing Myself
by Katarina H
Summary: Her dad is breaking down and Haruhi tries to stay strong and keep their life together. Hikaru is feeling ignored, though, and wants her attention desperately, oblivious to the problems occurring... Unless, maybe it's time to move on?
1. Chapter 1: Listen to Me

**I don't own Ouran, but I do own this story. Enjoy.**

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She breathed in and out slowly, attempting to relax. Now was not the time to get her head wound up too tight. Kyouya had been saying unnecessary things and he was surely doing it to bug her.

What did he know about Hikaru? About her? Sure, he and Hikaru were friends but saying she was "infatuated" with him… it was embarrassing, among other things. It wasn't right of him to take her feelings so lightly.

Haruhi hid her heated face in her hands. Why did Kyouya-senpai have to be so smart?

"Oi, gimme your homework." He sat in his chair backwards and stared at the neatly piled notebooks she had completed her assignments in, annoyed she wasn't responding to him.

However, she kept working on her study questions, concentrating on the equation in front of her.

He wrinkled his brow, until he sighed and turned around to sit the right way. This wasn't going anywhere and her blatant disregard of him was getting hurtful. He ran a hand through his hair, miffed.

"Um, Kao-, or I mean Hik-, or, um, uh… Hitachiin-san?" A girl from his class stood in front of his desk, holding out a pink notebook to him. She had ponytails and a familiar face, probably a classmate from middle school. She shyly smiled, her face turning a faint pink when their eyes met. "You can look at my homework if you want. Haruhi-kun seems busy."

Hikaru took the notebook without more of a reply than mumbled thanks. Some of her friends giggled and she returned to them, whispering excitedly.

He copied the work, bored, wishing his brother didn't have to be doing a stupid quiz without him. _Way to ditch me, Kaoru._

He sighed, exasperated with the tiny scribbles she wrote, and gave up. He pushed the chair back silently and walked to the semi-circle of excited girls. They watched his every step and poked their friend to get her attention. They continued to giggle.

Hikaru pushed the notebook at her but she hesitated in taking it, knowing full well he would go back to his desk, unsocial as ever. She took the chance to introduce herself.

"My name is Mayumi, but you can call me Mai." She took the notebook and he attempted to look interested, his face plastered with a host grin. "Nice to meet ya'." They all turned bright red and Hikaru returned to his seat.

He glanced at his quiet neighbor. Haruhi was still working, oblivious to the recent transaction.

Although Hikaru thought she was being rude, she worried for her grades. The teacher had promised her extra credit for the all the extra homework so her grade would be back to a scholarship student's standards. The host club took up quite a bit of her study time, especially when they pulled her on field trips and it was finally showing.

Her priority was to manage a stable high grade so they wouldn't pull her scholarship away, even if the director was Tamaki's dad. She felt determined to protect her placement here with her own will, her own power. Her friends had become important to her and she didn't want to leave them just yet.

A few more quiet minutes passed until Kaoru sprinted through the door, in tune with the bell, sliding down the aisle to the seat next to his brother's. "Safe!" He fist-pumped the air and the girls giggled at his cuteness. Hikaru breathed a sigh of relief, happy to not be so alone.

The teacher walked through the door, looking pointedly at the two twins. He shook his head and began the lesson without pause.

In the meanwhile, Kaoru watched in wonder at the heavy veil of tension between his two besties. Hikaru was sulking, turned away in the direction of the windows, and Haruhi pulled out little plugs from her ears. She watched the teacher with interest, scribbling notes intently.

Kaoru wonder what had happened, and sighed at their behavior, resolved to get the full story from his brother. He flipped out his phone with the guile of a spy. _Yay for practically blind teachers._

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**Let me know how it is! If there are any typos, grammar problems, or just things that don't flow/make sense, let me know so I can fix them ^_^**** I like criticism.**

**Thank you for taking the time to read my story :D I'll do my best to make it good.**


	2. Chapter 2: Falling Behind

******Oi, you. I don't own Ouran and I don't own Hikaru (at least, not yet. *evil laugh*) or Haru-chan.**

******Anways... here's chapter 2.**

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I trudged home, reading my notes as I went. I avoided thoughts of the host club from that afternoon, especially Hikaru's sudden anger. I'd been talking to Cassanoda about my biology project when he'd snapped, knocking a table over on his exit from Music Room 3. Luckily, the girls were gone.

I went over the little black letters once more, trying to keep my eyes on the uneven pavement as well.

'_**Discrepancy**__ - an instance of difference or inconsistency: _There are certain discrepancies between the two versions of the story.'

My notes were starting to give me a headache, not much of help to the one I already had. I closed the little booklet and pushed it into my bag.

I hadn't expected myself the quickly forget the words he'd flung at me, with his face flushed with emotion. _"You're really unfair, you know that?_

I worried what I had done to earn his hate, confused by his temper. I wouldn't forget the words he'd flung at me, with his face flushed with emotion. _"You're really unfair, you know that?_

Finally, the apartment block came into view. I blew warm air into my chilled fingers, until I realized there was an argument firing up outside the Fujioka residence.

"You good for nothing! I told you two months ago, if you don't give me the rent, I will kick you out. Now you have the decency to say you don't remember? Unacceptable. No, you leave by next week."

"No! You don't understand! I have a little girl, and we can't just move! She has schooling, and it's already far enough now. Please, I'll pay it all back soon!"

Suddenly, the second voice went quiet, clapping a hand on my father's shoulder. He shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I don't believe this is going to get any better. The neighbors are having trouble with your long nights, always with some new person or other. Not to be offending, but some people just don't feel… _comfortable_ with your career choice."

The landlord passed me on my way up, giving me a pitying smile on his way down.

There stood my father, his eyes misty beneath the long treads of red hair. The phone rang and I ran inside to get it.

"Fujioka residence."

"Haruhi?" It was Kyouya.

"Right now isn't a good time. Is there a problem?"

"I was calling to check up on your father. We usually talk every few days, but he hasn't contacted me in a week."

"I apologize; he's been busy with work. I need to go, good night."

Kyouya paused, and answered with a thoughtful tone, saying good night as he went. I pressed the red button and put it on the charger.

My father came inside the apartment and started bawling, tears flooding his eyes and running hurriedly down his face.

I turned to see him collapse, his chest racked with sobs, and I knelt to put my arms around him. Not moving, I held onto him until his sobs turned quiet, the tears slowed, and he finally relaxed. My legs had fallen asleep and my stomach made a few empty protests, but I paid it no mind. I brushed the hair from his face and sat there until daybreak.

The sun finally began flitting in through the front window and I pulled my stiff body from the floor. Gently, I pulled up his arm across my shoulders and hauled him to his room. His half-asleep brain managed to make his legs stumble uselessly across the floor and to the futon. I pulled back the covers and lowered him down, tucking him into the soft, clean sheets.

My exhaustion was catching up to me, but I plodded to the kitchen and made him breakfast, hoping he would be willing to eat any of it. Force-feeding was not one of my favorite jobs.

Folding up the blanket I'd covered him with during the night, I began cleaning the living area. There were tissues, empty bottles, and many unidentifiable objects that I decided to put in his drawers.

Finally satisfied with the new organization, I reminded myself that it was Saturday. I grabbed my list and headed for the early-bird specials. I would make my dad's favorite dishes tonight.

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Please let me know if there are any problems thus far.**

**I proclaim thee GRAMMAR POLICE. Please let me know if I missed anything XD I'm blind to it, no matter how many times I read it over.**

**Thank you for reading! :D**


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